i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
