I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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