that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
