All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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