Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
