Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
