I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
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