just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
