is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
