Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
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Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
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Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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