i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize
