At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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