We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Randomize
