Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
