garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
