it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I didn't notice because vodka
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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