just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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