before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
