How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Randomize
