my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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