everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
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Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
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low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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