Im at strip club and am horny
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize