No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
