after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
