in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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