The maid of honor just puked.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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