Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
