My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
