its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
