he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
