Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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