Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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