Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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