Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
How external is "for external use only"?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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