That's when you crack a 10am beer
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
