As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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