If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
