you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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