forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
That was before I lit my hair on fire
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
