it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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