you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
We need to get me chipped asap
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
