fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize