Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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