We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I touched a dick in church today
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
