just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I am full of burrito and curiosity
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
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We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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