East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
