Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
