Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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