At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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