R you on birth control?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
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I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
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Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.