I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
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I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
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Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME