it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
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And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
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Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.