Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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