if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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