Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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