Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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