period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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