im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
