But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
