I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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