i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
