I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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