your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
