Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
