Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
