Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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