mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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